Saturday, September 03, 2005

who are you? who am i? you can't always get what you want

shut down my xanga. stopped pretending i cared b/c i went to high school with all those fucks. i just got tired of the hypocrisy and such. about half the people on there hate me because a certain bastard started a lot of shit about me. and the other people i pushed away as a result of the slander. the only person who didn't do this on xanga was jimmy. shout out to jimmy! for he's a jolly good fellow!
ray told me once that i should stop killing off my friends. yes, i did most of the pushing away, but the blame doesn't rest entirely on my own shoulders, i feel. it starts small, then snowballs into a domino-effect collapsing house of cards (sorry, i'm not too coherent right now). i kinda regret not telling some ex-friends why i stopped caring so much, when certain things happened, why i never told them what was bugging me. but fuck that shit. i was tired of going on there every day, seeing my least favorite nickname (oh yeah, i'm the organic meatbag, in case ya didn't know) up there. i'm not some wilting violet, i can take the abuse, dammit. i'm a DIRTYDIRTYWHORE, remember? i had nametags made and everything....it was just that nobody ever stood up for me. i half-expected somebody would, but i don't blame anyone for not caring. the fault is mine, for thinking that other people would protect me. i am responsible for myself, and nothing will change that. it was a case of getting in bad with the wrong asshole. oopsie.

trying really hard to learn from my mistakes on this one. i think i'm getting there. cut your losses, cut your ties, start a new life. so this is me, severing ties with all that shit. *grins broadly* aw, hell, don't pretend you'll miss me! ahahahahaaaaa. sing with me! movin' on up....

to those of you in de who are still my friends (you know who you are, b/c you were at my house last month), i promise i'll never give up on you. and i won't give you a reason to give up on me. extra for my "posse of one": i don't care if he's johnny depp, he's gonna have to wait while i chill with you, i promise. and i'll keep the emails coming!
and if you've read this far, good job! you get absolutely nothing! in abundance! get the lead out! that is all.

Links

my lj.

my magical mp3 rotation, which i rotate biweekly.

my photobucket.

the official bbc doctor who site.

outpost gallifrey

official torchwood site.

february stars.

chaiyya chaiyya with subs.

home.