Labels: dark knight, increddddible, indiana jones is my supreme deity, iron mans is teh awesome, nick fury: agent of SHIELD, the chronic (what?), things that fucking OWN
without giving too much away, i think i'll just confine myself to saying that it kicks ass (except that gwyneth paltrow should be a strong female character, but basically they just need someone other than gwyneth paltrow for that. but i'm nitpicking. other than that, it was the most incredibly excellent thing ever ever).
along with that, i got to see extended trailers for prince caspian, incredible hulk, kingdom of the crystal skull (the only thing i'm confused about here is, if the skull is crystal, how can it be made out of solid gold? cos that's what it sounded like. perhaps it was poor sentence structure. but even the remotest possibility of zombies? oooh.), and dark knight.
since they've already been planning iron man 2 for a few months now, i can honestly say that i can't wait for it. the really great thing about iron man was that it was accessible to everyone, but they had all these special things for the real fans. like the cameo of stan lee as hugh hefner (hell, he already is the hef of the comic book world anyway). that little tease they had there for war machine was just fantastic (geeks in the audience cheered at this point). and the part when agent phil was all like, "oh, just call it S.H.I.E.L.D." (more cheering from the geeks).
absolutely the best part was sitting, while everyone else cleared the theater except for the geeks with inside information (and when you think about it, that's really all of us--what else do geeks do?), for fifteen agonizing minutes while the credits rolled, to see a truly incredible three minutes of samuel l. jackson. when he introduced himself as nick fury, there was a roar of approval. and much clapping. and then there was the allusion to an avengers movie. be still, my beating heart.
so: AWESOME. see it now. if you've seen it once, go see it again. and bring your mom. and your puppy. and any corpses you might dig up on the way. hey, it's never too late to see iron man.
avengers assemble!
Labels: sports niiiight, studio freaking 60 on the freaking sunset strip
*snerk*
ok, maybe i should accept the fact that studio 60 was cursed from the start for various reasons, and my hatred of 30 rock is absolutely groundless and there's literally no excuse for my not watching it.
but then, there are rumors that 30 rock is going to be canceled, as it's moving to a different night this fall, and i dunno what-all. maybe all "behind the scenes" comedy tv shows of comedy tv shows are doomed to fail horribly.
maybe everyone should watch "behind the scenes" comedy-dramas of sports tv shows that aren't actually about sports at all. those are the best. 10th anniversary box set, anyone?
Labels: intergalactic large furry creatures (and droids) of mystery
Labels: captain jack harkness, i'm in a secret organization that the whole universe knows about but it's ok because everyone shags everyone else, not just the teaboy
*fire and brimstone* a name that sounds like a noxious fart in hell. that demonic hellspawn, that devourer of worlds, that malicious destroyer of creation....there are no words in any language devastating enough to describe...the total, all-encompassing evilness that is her existence. like a toxic gas, her toxicity annihilates all around her. she is no longer deserving of a name, and is hereafter to be known as 'that woman.'
Labels: captain jack harkness, i'm in a secret organization that the whole universe knows about but it's ok because everyone shags everyone else, not just the teaboy, who? exactly.
i wanna smack rtd for chad wotshisface (he looks like a chad, therefore he is) going "and who the hell are you anyway, herm herm hrem?" just so tennanty tens can do the dramatic turny-aroundy whatnot and then go "OI'M THA MUTHAFUCKIN DOCTAH! OI'M A TIIIME LUD!!!! I'M FROM THE GALLIFREY BLAH-DE-BLAAAH (SHOUTOUT TO RASSILON LOVE TO MAH PEEPS FO LYFE!)!!!! OI'M 902 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU AH!!!! I'M GONNA SAVE EVRY LAST MUTHAFUCKAH ON DIS HIER BOATY-SHIP WHATNOTS AND THEN ON THE MUTHAFUCKIN EARTHS JUST COS!!!! AND I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MUTHAFUCKIN SNAKES ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN PLANE!!!!" with the explody flamy-flames of dramaticness in the background.
inspiring music: *swells*
kylie: *moist*
everyone else: well, shit. okay then. allons-fucking-y.
and then at the end when he fucking STRIDES DRAMATICALLY TOWARDS THE CAMERA IN SLO-MO WHILST SHIT BLOWS UP BEHIND HIM. this is not lethal weapon. or die hard. or even bad boys. please stop that.
and then he was all I AM TEH MESSIAH. PEAS ON EARHT. NOT DYIN FO YOUR SINS, THO. SRY. i swear to god when they crossed arms i thought that they were going to break into a chorus line.
but tennant can do it, because he really is the doctor. i think he can pretty much act the shit out of whatever crap they give him.
kylie? not so much. aargh. i just cannot take her seriously. she may not be bright but she'll sure take care of you! maid fantasy much? cute boots, though. oh, doctor. you're not really sad, are you? nope. i want to smack rtd again. NO MORE KISSING OF THE COMPANIONS, DAMMIT!!!! NO MOAR FRAKKIN TECHNICALITIES OR TRADITIONS REQUIRING THE JOINAGE OF TEH MOUTHS!!! TOUCHING LIPS CONSTITUTES A REAL KISS!!! TEH DOCTOR IS NOT A BOY TOY!!!! TEH DOCTAH IS NOT NEEDING TO SEX EVERY1 HE IS MEETING!!!! WHEN SOME1 IS ASKING IF THEY CAN GO FOR A RIDE IN HIS TARDIS IT IS NOT A EUPHEMISM FOR PLS PLS STICK YOUR TONGUE IN MY MOUTH!!!! tom baker never had to put up with this shit. so help me, the next doctor after tennant (but he is never going, cos he'll be the doctor forever, oh yes he is) had damn well better be alan greenspan. ain't nobody touching that.
and they give her the alien tech that looks exactly like a dildo. pls tell me is not just me?
how can mr. alonzo sexy back with his sticky-outy ears survive for the entire length of the ep with a gut shot? alonso would make a better companion than astrid. just look at him! don't you just wanna wrap a rubber band around his head to train his ears not to stick out? you know you do!
and the little red alien only exists in order for him and everyone else to have to speak his CRAAAAZY alien name ad nauseam, which wasn't cute the first time around with pokemon. SO I HERD U LIEK MUDKIPS!!!!!!!11111
i wonder how high the body count has to get before the doctor grits and teeth, goes, "no more," and strides off to Do Something. like before he's only been dicking around but now he's gonna really get down to sirrus bidness.
rtd, honey, don't show the queen in rollers. she deserves your respect. and her little corgi too. "thank you, doctah, fo savin mah lifs!!!!" *waves*
a modest proposal for next year's xmas speshul: nobody dies. absolutely no-one. not even Anonymous Henchman Number Three. everyone goes shopping and absolutely fails to get killed by a mannequin. there are no evil aliens attempting world destruction. it snows for real. a lot. everyone has a big snowball fight (using the tardis as your fort is not allowed, as that's cheating) before tramping inside to eat cheese-and-pickle sandwiches and watch eastenders. the doctor explains which actors are gay, which are aliens, and which are not really actors at all but OH GOD IT'S THE SONTARANS!!! ahahaha just kidding, it's nothing but an oddly shaped potato, and everyone has a good laugh before baking it in the fire whilst singing carols. as the tardis dematerializes, the doctor shouts out the door, "merry christmas to all, and to all a good night!" and even harriet jones can't help but agree.
and i'm not going to speculate on series four. at all. really.
moving on to a much closer and highly-anticipated occasion: TORCHWOOD SERIES TWO!!!!!
new trailer up! turn up your volume and let the anticipation build:
*breathes heavily*
oh please, let it be good. pleeeeeease. rtd, i will smack you a third time if you screw with me on this. there will be shirtless!spike. there will be snarky!andy. there will be explosions. there will be mayhem. there will be gore. there will be general bad-assedness. and there will be jackanto for all. YES. that last point is completely non-negotiable.
are we clear? good.
ambush:
chosen:
the follow:
star:
powder keg:
hostage:
ticker:
beat the devil:
Labels: bollywooooooooood, picspam, that's bullshit, things that fucking OWN
i'm so completely excited about om shanti om that...ok, i wasn't going to say "it's not even funny."
but it isn't. in case you were wondering.
because seriously, it looks like the totally awesomest movie ever in the history of everything. and i don't have a problem with farah khan's work. considering how much i like main hoon na, it would be kinda silly for me to say that.
it just looks like it is going to be completely fantastic. you've got the '70s (which are very now), reincarnation (who doesn't like that?!), and shah rukh khan. *is ded*
and the music is pretty good, too. deewangi deewangi is obviously the blockbuster song, the item number to end all item numbers, since it's featuring 31 STARS OMG!!!! but really, there's kajol, and amitabh bachchan, and sushmita shen, and salman khan, and and and....
it's like that recurring character on goodness gracious me, smita smitten, who always pretends to be going to fabulous premieres and meeting all the bollywood stars. "oh look, it's the gorgeous art malik!"
one thing.
the song dard-e-disco:
srk, dear heart, i love you to death, but how old are you? the song basically consists of them throwing bucket after bucket of water on his half-naked body. it seems like he's saying, "right back atcha, hrithik roshan! dhoom 2 THIS, muthfuckaaaaaaa!!!!"
...the sad thing is, it's still hot.
how is that? i have no idea.
i know a lot of people are asking, which will get more at the box office, oso or saawariya, but i just want to see this soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much.
it comes out on friday. not only does it come out on friday, but they're showing it three times this weekend. at the theater i always go to. IN MOTHERFUCKING DELAWARE.
i am seriously considering dropping everything and driving home this weekend to see om shanti om.
aargh.
